It truly can be daunting to wake up one day & just know that for the past 5 years, you have been coasting & just mucking through this wonderful world we have been blessed with. Time to cram all the "used tos" & "bad habits" away in a trunk to be locked up & disposed of.
Our lives can be changed irreversibly in a "blink of an eye" & it takes such a long time for us to be brought back to reality. After the death of my beloved eldest son, our whole family has been struggling to regain a foot hold on this Earthly plain. In just 4 days, we will be honoring our son Dain on his 5th anniversary of his death. It seems like yesterday/it seems like a hundred years ago...the hurt is still so fresh & raw. That is not entirely true, the pain has numbed a bit, but the sadness will always be present.
I told myself that on Dain's 5th Anniversary, I was going to emerge from my blackness & self pity & start to devour each day for "Me". I need to take better care of "Me", I need to strive to find the "Joy" in each & every day that God grants me. After 5 years of self abuse & neglect, I look in the mirror & see the ravages that depression can have on one's body & soul. I have 4 more days until Dain's anniversary, so all this prep work must come into play. Time to start visually seeing myself becoming well once again.
I will be using my blog to keep tabs on myself as well as keep my creative journey moving right along. It will be interesting to see how my travels have gone in the future. One can only wait to see.
1 comment:
Wishing you Peace. Your entry was touching and hopefully in itself a bit healing. Good for you for keeping busy with the troops volunteer stuff...and take care of yourself, by indulging in the very Happy Healing Hobby of card making and crafting! Take care.
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